Why I believe in God

So much to my dismay, I`m still here in San Salvador. My diarrhea got a lot worse, so I couldn´t go with my trip leader, Sally, to the campo. She`s going up to Berlin to check in with Amanda, whose feeling a little homesick. My health could be worse though, Michael got diarrhea around when I did, and two other women in the office are sick.

I was up too late last night, not because I wasn´t tired, but because I had a splitting headache. I had just finished watching Dogma (my fourth favorite movie), and began to reflect on religion. And I began to ask myself, why do I believe in God?

Given my background, it seems unlikely I would have come to this conclusion. While I was raised Catholic, and still am, I was all but atheist for about a third of my life (7-14). Before I returned to the faith, I was fare more interested in the girls at my Catholic youth group than discussions of theology. And of the members of my immediate family, none attend Church more than a few times a year, if that.

And despite all this, I´m a pretty religious person. While I certainly have doubts from time to time, and certainly do not except all of the teaching of my denomination, I pray and attend church at a somewhat regular basis. What happened?

I`m generally a logically person, and do not tend to believe in things that are logically fallacies. But it is my belief that the existence of God is not a logical fallicy, but if anything, the absence of God is a logical fallacy.

There are two pieces of logic which I feel more or less prove the existence of God.

The first reason is the trilema, penned by CS Lewis, the author of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. To paraphrase, this is how be proven the existence of God, with three possible realities:

1) Jesus was a liar.
2) Jesus was a fool.
3) Jesus was the son of God.

When one analyzes the historical evidence of Jesus (and yes, historian all but unanmimously agree he did exist, albeit not as the son of God), it becomes clear to me that the most likely answer is c. I don't think that Jesus was a megalomaniac, lying to everyone and sinning on the side; nor do I think that he was a crazy fool, because he is the wisest man that will ever live.

But the second reason I belief in God is faith. And that came with help and prayers from a friend, mentor, and pastor named Father Gary Thomas. He was head pastor at St. Nicolas Church in Los Altos, and he changed my life. On a warm winter night my sophmore year in high school, I confessed that I had serious doubts about the existance of God to a man who had been my pastor nearly my entire life. When he spoke, it was like the words of Christ, and I was born again in Him. He said, paraphrased to the best of my memory:

"Well Matt, you have two possibilities. You have a beautiful world here, and all of the wonderful things in it. Your mother and father, who I know love you very much Matt. You have all your other family, and your friends at Bellarmine, her at this retreat, and elsewhere. You have all the wonders and the mysteries of this universe.

Now, there are two options. This could all be a random chain of events. Or, there could be an almighty God who loves us, no matter what. And I believe in that."

And that's why I believe in God.